My heart has been heavy for the last few weeks. There have been so many tragic deaths...including celebrities. But the ones that hit me the hardest are those associated with domestinc abuse.
Please realize that domestic violence/abuse has no socio-economic limitations. It affects so very many women...and men too. You may see a person everyday and never know that they are dealing with this at home.
If your partner displays violent or abusive tendencies, pleas don't think that you can change that person. YOU CAN'T! DON'T TRY TO! You need to remove yourself from that situation at the first sign of violent or abusive behavior.
Here are some tell tale signs:
1. feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
2. avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
3. feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
4. believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
5. wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
6. feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
1. humiliate or yell at you?
2. criticize you and put you down?
3. treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
4. ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
5. blame you for their own abusive behavior?
6. see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
7. or my personal favorite: does your parter hide your blood pressure medication knowing that you need to take it daily?
8. have a bad and unpredictable temper?
9. hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
10. threaten to take your children away or harm them?
11. threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
12. force you to have sex?
13. destroy your belongings?
Remember: It Is Still Abuse If . . .
The incidents of physical abuse seem minor when compared to those you have read about, seen on television or heard other women talk about. There isn’t a “better” or “worse” form of physical abuse; you can be severely injured as a result of being pushed, for example.
The incidents of physical abuse have only occurred one or two times in the relationship. Studies indicate that if your spouse/partner has injured you once, it is likely he will continue to physically assault you.
The physical assaults stopped when you became passive and gave up your right to express yourself as you desire, to move about freely and see others, and to make decisions. It is not a victory if you have to give up your rights as a person and a partner in exchange for not being assaulted!
There has not been any physical violence. Many women are emotionally and verbally assaulted. This can be as equally frightening and is often more confusing to try to understand.
Source: Breaking the Silence: a Handbook for Victims of Violence in Nebraska
THERE IS HELP FOR YOU!
In the U.S., call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.
Canada: National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-363-9010.
Australia: National Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 200 526.
Or visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a worldwide list of helplines, shelters, and crisis centers.
Male victims of abuse can call:
In the US, The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women specializes in supporting male victims of abuse and offers a 24-hour helpline: 1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754).
UK: ManKind Initiative offers a national helpline at 01823 334244.
Australia: One in Three Campaign offers help and resources for male victims.