Tuesday, December 27, 2011

It really is OK to be single!

Being a single woman for the last 4 years, I’ve learned that it is definitely ok to be single. I think my family and friends have more of a problem with me being single than I do. They seem to think its “taboo” to be single. I’ve found it to be the greatest and most peaceful period of my life!

I look at my friends who are married or in a long term relationship. A lot of them aren’t happy. They stay in their miserable, monotonous relationships for financial reasons, fear of change, and fear of being alone. I look at my family, and we don’t do that! Lol. The women (and men) in my family don’t stay in unhappy, unfulfilling relationships. I see it from generation to generation.

I was married for 18 years, so I am different from the many women who’ve never been married or had children. I’ve done both. What I haven’t done is lived alone! I went from my grandmother’s house straight into marriage and children. I spent those years putting their needs/wants first, supported the goals of my ex-husband and took him to another level, while putting my dreams and goals on hold. I endured emotional, verbal and physical abuse in the process; went work every day and to church every week with my mask (smiling face) firmly in place. So, when I look back on my past relationship, I am grateful to be single and to have peace of mind. The first 2 years were kind of rough, but these last two have been the best! I’ve learned to love and accept MYSELF. I date myself. I’m still discovering new interests. I think about going back to school, but must admit, I’m procrastinating on that. I know what I want and what I do not want and will not accept in a relationship.
So, to the single people out there, I say, ENJOY THE FREEDOM! My mom used to always say “VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE.” Now is the time to experience different people and cultures. Cultivate friendships with the opposite sex.

Most of all, remember that MARRIAGE IS A CHOICE…NOT A REQUIREMENT and it is not a pre-requisite to happiness.

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